my quaint world

I think I've been too boring for godsake. Been goody girl. Been working hard. Been proper. Been sweet and all. But boring.

Even my blog reflects it. I've been trying or more wanting to give it a makeover but Mr D's been hoggin the iMAC ever since. And I thought it was for me! Darn. Anyway, the reason was that the graphics is amazing on it. So games are played there. And I am stuck here to write still to my blogspot on my slow 'dying' windows pc. But I have .mac waiting for me to make some nice out of it. Just need to figure how to migrate this blog over.

A bits of good news is about the job. Its gone better. In fact, did a huge turn around. Now I am bagged with real HEAVY challenges. It'll keep me going. Though I gotta prove it right. Otherwise, it'll be for a couple of months before I am locked down again. Well, I'll do my best. I always do.

When you have the passion, enthusiam and commitment, it always works ain't it. (i better hope)

I need a sparkle in life! An overhaul of my engine. To start the brrmmm brrrmm going again.

This makes me think of the years in Tanglin. (only 2 years but still...) Those were the days of what I call 'ad-hoc' living. Youth!

Though 'ad-hoc' living is perceived negatively in the asian culture. Like they say, have no responsibility at all. Tsk tsk tsk.

There was a housemate. There was my bro (some examples i set there and then). There was my ever loving loyal Nam.

We ate whenever we want. Whatever we like. We clean as we wish (i am neat, they are not) There is also this nice lady who comes every 2 weeks to help us put the house back in order. And our laundry. And ironing. (i hated it!)

We went out whenever. We came back whatever time. We have parties. We have sleepovers. We have beers. Wines. Chips. Karaoke. Anyday. Everyday.

As responsible citizens, we do go to work (need the juice to fund our living).

But it was fun! It was living young. I am really glad I lived there and then before.

And now as we grow older, 'responsibilities' sets in. We get more serious. Orderly living. Proper dinner. House cleaning. Constant laundry. Bills. Bills. Bills. And bills.

But I think sometimes we just forget that life can be still fun and spontaneous. I forgot. Really.

Now, I have a trip to India coming up. In 2 weeks. It just makes me reflects how boring I am because I can't even be excited for a trip to new place. (never been to Delhi, only Mumbai). I must find the jest of life again! Wakey wakey!!!

I love Malaysia!

For all its quirkiness, mass housing, dirty backlanes, corruptees, skyscrappers, warm weather, heavenly food, vast nature, friendly people... its HOME to me.

Phew, for the first time in my entire working life, I am really draggin my feet to work, counting the mins down to 5pm and gleely promptly leaving the office. Its depressing really.

I had my review with my boss today. Amazingly, I was being really honest with him about my feelings on the role and I really needed a change. Really. Desperately.

Otherwise, I will rot. Rot of boredom and stagnity. And stupid people. Also. (But about that, other time)

My boss sounded suprised to hear me out. He thought everything was going swell as I was producing good works. Eh?!

Well, good to know that at least when I am at my most demotivating moments, I do still try hard and try my best.

Though on another hand, I am not sure if its the weather that brings all this gloominess.

For sure, I know I wanna do much more and I can do much more. And I need to do much more to keep alive!

Bring on some real challenges!!!

Hey guys, after a long silence. I hope everyone is doing great. Drop me a mail if there is any hot hot gossip which I've missed out. Gee!

Well, been feeling under the weather. Literally. Yes, the weather sucks here. Its cloudy and gloomy all day long. I don't feel like doing anything. Except sleeping. Maybe eating.

That's why we had to drive 11 hours to seek for the sun. And we did. Phew, it was a long ride though. I kept looking at the dashboard counting down the kilometres.

But it was all worth it. 8 days of pure blue blue sky and hot hot sun. Beach, mountain, parties, drinking, gambling and loads of mom's cooking. What can be better! :)

Honestly, throughout the holidays, anytime my mom feels like cooking, anytime I am ready to eat. Yea, I do miss her cooking lots. She's a great cook!

Can't post the pictures now. Gotta get em sort out first. Later...

I am very very busy. Other than work. (Work is endless!)

My mommy and daddy will be visiting next week. They are arriving on Wednesday. For a whole 3 weeks.

I've been a good girl, cleaning up the house, puffing the pillows and putting on nice clean sheets for them :)

Though till now, we have yet to see Summer. Its always shying away hiding behind those grey big heavy clouds.

I just hope the weather will be kind.

Hey people, sorry for being so quiet lately. I have been overwhelmed by work. I've been to Milan this week and also have been in the office till 8pm each night. I know, its crazy. I've promised myself not to torture me like this but hell, the drive is there now and I can't stop myself.

I can't complain that its over torturous either, cause deeply I do enjoy my work a lot now. I work best under high pressure.

That a pressure cooker.

Don't worry, it will not explode as tomorrow I am off to Trets - the journey of finding me!

Eat Pray Love has been a great book to read just before Trets. Its not related to buddhist greatly but the gist of the book gives me lotsa self reflection and it preps me to high spirit, all ready soar at Trets.

There's many many phrases and thoughts that struck and relate me deeply. (Don't have time to share them now).

There's also many many funnies that made me chuckled out load to myself during my flight to Milan. Heck care if they think I am a bit crazy ;)

Well, the journey of finding oneself is extremely important and that thought strikes me hard. Finding the peace within oneself. Detachment of our happiness to an external factor. Controlling of thoughts, driving away the negative ones.

When one reaches this state, I believe in everything we do, will be at the max potential. Or should I say, one can bloom to his/ her max potential.

Therefore, I keep telling myself I don't have to tire myself working 12 hours a day (this week is exceptional because I enjoy it), stressing about problems at work, family, home etc. When one find that innate power, what is impossible?

Just need time and wisdom to do it.

I think human stresses too much also because we are too impatient to complete things. If nothing is impossible, why stress - just relax and complete things one by one...

Till I am back renew, take care and kisses...

Summer is almost here!

At the first sight of the sun, the singing of birds begun, greenery everywhere, people alive again, vibrant after months of hibernation.

People everywhere. People busily shopping in the city centre. People sitting at the terraces, a beer in hand and faces looking straight at the beam of the sun. Very often, you can see the endless streams of smoke from the bbq pits chimneying out from the gardens and the tantalizing smell, of course.

People flocking around the lakes. People cycling. People walking in their colours.

This also means the start of endless invitation to bbqs, outdoor cafes, cycling, running, sunning, beach, parties and festival.

Ah, life begins!

First bbq of summer 07 :)


Nicely set table - flowers, candles, nuts, chips, dips, crackers and champagne to begin the evening.


After hours of talking and sipping, finally the food is cooking :)

Well done marinated meat from the butchery, bbq-ed by the host while we still continue talking and sipping our endless wines. Once everything is ready, we all sat down and dinner commences.

Followed by desert. Then coffee or tea. Lastly, a shot or two of after-dinner Finnish liquer.

Food was damn yummy though! (Especially the mediterranean salad!)

I do miss the asian style of bbq - the hustle bustle, chicken wings, fishball, otak, hotdogs (plus taiwan version, mee hoon with curry chicken, hidden beneath the grill - corns and sweet potatoes... Mmm, perhaps this summer, I shall throw an Asian bbq.

Could someone write me the secret recipe to marinate the chicken wings please?

I figured out. I shall not make it too complicating.

So, this is it. Simple and nice. Small bits of colourful here and there to spice things up.

Though I am just missing photoshop program in my pc to edit the lovely pictures to show to you people ;)

Sometimes, its just too difficult to share it all here. On one hand, I know many of my dear friends out there are reading me. On the other, I always pride myself (try my best to...) to be a honest and honest kind of person. Just to say my thoughts without first filtering and rearranging the thoughts strategically for sake of everything else.

I try. I try. I try.

Open communication is the very start of forging a strong base for common understanding among us people. Thus, this can bring us peace and happiness in our lives. In our world.

Though sometimes, I think my T4s and TSHs (thyroid hormones) is acting too much on me and turning my world round and round till I am feeling a little schizophrenic. I do take my pills at bedtime, like a good ol girl.

Just need to find that drive.

What do you do when you have a circuit board, which you fixed up on your own from the first resistors till that complicated damn thing which is not working?

What do I do?

1. Do I chug it away and buy a new DIY pack?
2. Do I try to trace the entire circuitry from very beginning to detect resistor or capacitor or transistor which is inverted?
3. Do I tear it apart and start putting it together from scratch?
4. Do I just leave it like that on the shelf, hoping one day magic will happen?

Though there is no more anxiety, fear or any kind of those. Just wanna fix that damn thing.

Feel like adding colours to my life!

I am half way done but I gotta run now so I hope it won't be too strong for your eyes! :)

I guess I can be quite domineering at times. In the sense of trying to impose my ideas. Which generally is, that everyone think their ideas are the best.

Nevertheless, I try to constantly remind myself that, I am not the 'rightest'. Nor the most correct. For I do not stand in the show of others to perceive things the way it is really perceived.

But us, as human beings, we can't see ourselves, can we? What we only have is the illussion of our physical self thru the reflection in the mirror. Then we can only see that we have a smudge on our face, if there is.

Domineering I may seems to be, but please trust that I only have the best intentions for you. For others. For all. To tell the truth seen with my eyes and heart.

It may not be all correct. But take a minute to breathe it in, ponder and let it go if I was wrong.

As simple as that. But it is also the most difficult to do.

Do the same to me, as I would do to you. With love, of course.

I've been trying to learn about myself. To discover. To ponder deeper. To reflect.

All in the effort and will to live a free live. To live a life free from perceptions, expectations, cultural or just rules governing the society. (I am not so good in expressing myself in words but I am sure you get what I mean)

I want to live like I want to.

I want to eat what I like, when I like. Instead of depending on where my colleagues would like to go for lunch today.

I want to read under the sun back at the balcony. Instead of worrying what neighbours might say.

I dress in big red as I feel like. Instead of worrying I might be laughed at for looking like a clown.

I dance to the beat like no ones watching me. Instead of worrying that I look like a jumping lunatic.

I want sing to the world. And I will sing it eventhough it may sound bad. (Reaaally bad!!!)

I call a friend when I feel like. Instead of worrying that she might feel like talking to me.

I take an ice cream while walking at the park. Instead of worrying about my extras. (Am strong believer in exercising)

I say sorry I am not up to party tonite cuz I am tired. Instead of draggin my feet there just for the sake of going.

But its certainly not something easy. It is difficult not because others is stopping me but my deepest self. Yes, the inner voice. Sometimes the voice is unsure, sometimes the voice hesitate, sometimes the voice shy away.

It is all about the way of living. And its a life long learning experience.

Don't get me wrong, I am not into criminology nor terrorism :) Nor is it about living a life discarding responsibilities.

I can't wait till I am there! I can imagine the exhilaration of living which is already pulsating in me while I am learning this skill of 'free living'.

Well, if you would have asked me, how has it been lately? I would say, I wish it could have been better. Past weeks has been terrible. And it keeps going etc etc etc.

Perhaps, it is the expectations I started to build on people around me?

I am still pondering about it, why and how do I let this phase pass me by.

It could be due to the fatigue from travelling, or my missing of meds.

I feel very so alone in this world. It is not about loneliness. But I just felt INSIGNIFICANT.

This evening I was sitting in the Waterloo station. A Burger King Whopper in hand. 100 people passing by per min. But I am just invisible. I just watched them. One by one.

A pregnant lady with a beaming face stroking her tummy as she chats her way. A little girl in pink dress, white knee high sock and pink shoes hopping by. A man in suit with a frown, thinking. A girl in filmsy white spagettin boobing away. A man with curly hair watching her boobs. Ladies in groups chatting aloud.

And they just kept passing by. Each in their own lives. Own worlds.

I took the train back to Brussels. I took the taxi back to home. I laid on my bed. Alone.

My phone didnt even beeped for once.

Am I slowly slipping away from this universe?

Oooh I miss you so...

Sorry guys, I have been too busy to do anything here.

Was back to Belgium last week and off now in Istanbul for work (most romantic city in the world, they say). Next stop is Villars, Switzerland for Team Building (skiing!!!) then to Lisbon for work again. Phew!

I will miss March.

Happy New Year! Wishing everyone good health, prosperity and loads of happiness in this year of PIG!

I am sitting now in the BMI Lounge in Heathrow, waiting for the connection flight to Brussels. Well, lets just tell you about the ridiculous experience just now at the custom - crossing from Terminal 3 to Terminal 2.

I was carrying a laptop bag and also a plastic bag with my tins of kuih kapet (love letters). As we were all entering the queue to screen our hand luggages, an officer was instructing that everyone is only allowed to have ONE bag, otherwise we'll be thrown out of the airport. It was a chaos. Everyone was trying to figure. Well, so I placed my laptop bag into my plastic bag (with 3/4 of the laptop bag protruding out of the other). I hugged it because I couldnt manage even to hold the handle. But with that stupid idea, they accepted and I could pass thru the checkpoint.

Though I felt really silly huggin the plastic bag with a laptop bag sticking outta it. Its a funny sight! I'll have to take a picture to illustrate it.

Anyway, I think they are getting overly obsessed strict and ridiculous. We had to remove our laptops from the bag, our belts and even shoes!

So you can imagine the long queue due to the very tidious process.

Otherwise, Chinese New Year was fabulous! Lotsa eating, drinking, little gambling (i have no luck this year!), visiting and meeting up with the family, relatives and friends.

We went 2 days to Singapore to visit my Nam who has became so chubby. He looks like a fur ball. Very cute. I just wished I had brought him to Belgium with me. He'll be such a great companion. I do miss him so much!!

He had such a sad melodramatic expression when I saw him. I guess he misses me too.

We also went for 4 days to Langkawi. A very economicall trip booked via AirAsia. Lucky us that we didnt experience any delays for I've heard they are well known for their huge delays!

Though Langkawi island is rather quiet, the shining sun and the beautiful beaches are sufficient to make our holiday perfect. We sneaked into the Datai for a day. That was the most beautiful piece of beach. Fine white sand. Clear waters. And no jelly fishes (Urgh, I hate them).

Also, went island hopping for RM 35. There was an island we visited called Pulau Singa Besar which had a very beautiful beach and wonderful scenery plus clear greenish water. I thought it was very lovely except for the litterings. Sigh, I wish people will learn to love our environment more. Its a real pity.

It angers me also when I see the irresponsible tourists giving junkfood and can drinks to the wild monkeys. Firstly, its not good for their diet. And the monkeys are surely not smart enough to be sure the the packages and cans are to be dispose at the right bins.

Well, this trip has been more difficult for me to leave, perhaps its because of the thought for returning to grey cold brussels? thought to be again far away from the family and friends? I am getting homesick for the first time since I moved here last summer!!!

This is life! I have to work! And that starts tomorrow. Wish me luck for not falling asleep half way thru :S

I just thought my blog is a bit neither here and there. No exact focus. Its just a bric n brac of my mind and eyes. Some humour of mine to share.

I tried to make it a photography blog. Most of the time I forgot to bring along my camera. Otherwise, the photography course I enrolled, drove myself to, lost for 1 hour in Brussels - to arrive eventually to a course held in Flemish :(

I am still learning my languages. And...

Oops, gotta go. Tot morgen.

A quick make up for the long dissapearence. All written in this night.

Its late now though. My master is complaining.

To bed, Ms Teh. Good night everybody.

Ps : Still much to tell. About the new year party. About my new house. The new vast. The tulips. The. The. The.

Yea I am still alive.

I apologise profusely that I have been missing for a long while. There is so much I wanted to share, but time and mind is not keeping up with my wantings. I can't remember what I wanted to write so much about. Then again, something will remind me, during all the wrong time when I do not have my laptop or a pen and paper with me.

Anyway, whats been happening? I have been lazy :) But trying very hard to shine at the first light, to be fresh and early to work. Yea, still trying after all these years :S

I have been trying to concentrate at work. But things have been bothering me like the renovation of my new house, arrangement to go home, a small holiday, dieting before the big festival, etc.

Yes, I am confirmed to arrive (I cross my fingers!) in a 3 leg flight, Barcelona - Brussels - KL. Pray that there will be no any hiccups or delays or ... This year, we have managed to convince our dear mammy to cook :) And she will.

My mom is a wonderful cook. Too bad I didnt take that after her.

Yea, I've been trying out cooking the past weeks. Very sadly, it was major disaster. We had to settle for white rice and stir-fry vege only. My Egg-Curry tasted like egg in curry powder. My prawn fritter has not much fritters covering it. (I discovered that I did my measurement for the amount of water wrongly. So the batter was too thick and didnt stick to the prawns)

I've found some interesting website. I'll share but in separate posts as I do not like my posts to be overly long.

Its funny weather lately. It is because Msteh brought the heat of Asia here? Bimbo-talkin :)

Really, I do worry a lot for our dear earth sometimes. The weather is weird. Here in Belgium, normally it should be cold cold snowing winter. But this week, the temperature was ranging between 10-14 degrees. Even the plants are getting confused. While driving yesterday, I saw blooming flowers at my right, and barren sticks at my left. And woa, the strong winds almost blew tiny me away.

I read somewhere, parts of America, temperature is 10-20 degrees higher than usual. Other parts, its crazy snow-storm. In Malaysia and Singapore, its raining cats and dogs.

Heck, I was wishing for my first complete white winter. Looks like Spring has arrive.

I hope the earth is not sick?