my quaint world

Sometimes I do doubt my own conscience.

Do we really feel happy for others when good things happen to them? Or do we just LOOK happy for them?

Or do we dictate our actions based on what we think should be correct, which could be miles aways from what our real conscience is?

Can we really be honestly happy for others?

Called Mr D just. He was having such a good time. All fun. All men in their undies swimming under the moonlight, in the warm waters of Sentosa. Drunk.

I guess it was really really fun. I wish I was there. (I love yummy sights! LOL)

But for a moment, I can hear it in my own voice. The bitterness.

I was shocked with myself. Managed to bite my tongue before it splurts to say something unsightly. Like go to bed - its late - you are not there for fun - nag nag nag. (Only women do that meh?)

Then I ask myself. Am I for real?

And I remembered those crazy nights I had during my own trips - most recently, the International Party at Madrid. Before entering the club, we had to put on a tag with the country of Origin. I was from Cuba ;)

Well, sometimes I can't deny there is also all the other feelings - envy, jelousy, possesiveness admist of love.

Its needs a constant effort in mind to keep a balance. We gotta be fair. Everyone needs Love. Fun. Joy. Achievements. Life.

I guess, in time to come, I will find the equibilium point where it holds the balance. And to be really happy for someone, and not only after an hour or so of brainstorming.

Having the awareness of my own conscienceness is a good thing though. At least I could think, ponder and be wise before any rash reactions.

In all conscience, I really wanna be happy for others! Especially my dear Mr D.