my quaint world

Wassup wassup?

- I am still deaf to both French and Flemish.

Though my Flemish classes will start next week. And I am making trying efforts each night in self studying French without my table lamp, under the shadows :(

French to me is a singing language. Its a beautiful languauge with a lot of intonations.

- My house is cleaned and clean.

- Laundry is remaining as a constant pile.

- Went to gym once.

- Sleep, work, eat, beer. That's all I do.

Though I have a long list of things awaiting. Gotta start to write down my resolutions for 2007!

Perhaps this time I'll manage to get my ass to it. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

Though I would say living in Belgium gives myself more personal time compared to the days I was in Singapore. Here I found that I had more time to think, to self reflect, to connect with my innerself.

Because everything moves fucking damn slow here and I live in the tiny faraway silent town of Vilvoorde. Hehehe.

I like the winter nights at home, though my feet is constantly numb due to the cold and I have to wrap myself up with a big blanket looking like a begger. I think I am quite a sight when my neighbours look in on me from the windows.

Err, I am going for local Ghent play this Friday night. I think I'll just gulp the beers and start to halucinate that I am indeed watching a pantomine.

Lately, many came to seek for my listening ear. I am being a good listener who listens without making judgements but also who listens with one's heart and ask questions that will lead the seekers to find one's answers. I try. I try.

Its common that we often start feeling rather unhappy about things, we put the blame on everything. Its the job. Its him. Its their attitude. Its her laziness. Its his stupidity. He didn't care. She was too selfish. They were taking for granted.

Little do we realise, are we really unhappy because of the less of another? Or put it another way, do we let ourselves be unhappy because of the weaknesses potrayed by another?

Or are we really unhappy because of our inability to change others to be what we envisioned or have expectation off?

Though, I know, it still pained our hearts.

But at many times, if we look at it cold heartedly, without much emotions, its all about choices. And many time, we let our emotions cloud our judgement of choices available for us. Choices are those that we can make to be in control of the situations.

But but but, how to really be in control of our situations?

I think one key to resolving issues which includes another person is dialogue. Talk! Talk with an open heart. Talk without boundaries. Talk without the what ifs. Talk without the expectation. Talk to seek the heart of another. Talk to understand the senses.

I read somewhere one on how to have effective dialogue. Instead of saying, 'if you do this, YOU make me feel...' but say, 'when you do this, I feel this way...'.

Its a different effect. One potrays more of a blame which will cause the other to be defensive. The latter will bring forth compassion from another.

We have to believe that deep in one another there is compassion. It may be laying dormant. It maybe be inactive. Its how we tap to it and to turn the situation around.

My friend sent me this site - Centre for Nonviolence Communication. This organisation was founded by a man who was lookin for answers to these questions, "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?". He believes in that human beings enjoys giving and receiving in a compassionate manner and thru the right way of communication we are able to optimise this and thus, making living more wonderful for ourselves and others.

Read it to find out more. Though I think one need to pay for the training courses :S

Otherwise, you can follow me through my course of self discovery here. Muahaha.

Just listening to my sista's podcast, dedicated to dearest H3lly and it just bring tears to my eyes...

Last Goodbye To The One We Miss

Go listen! I have a eccentric sister. Delicate. Unique. Talented. Musical.

I wish I could have the last chance to speak, to laugh, to hold and to plant a kiss in your hair, H3lly.

Oh yea, my new car arrived 2 weeks ago and he is a real beauty!


Manual gears :( but it has a sixth gear though. Never tried it out yet (I am a very slow driver)

And yes, it was a nice day - look at the little picturesque reflection!


Beige leather interior.


And a built-in bluetooth hands free kit. Very cool! Detects my phone automatically. When a call comes in, it stops the music and I listen to phone calls via the speakers of my car. Even display my name everytime it detects my phone.


Hehe, maybe I am being very 'suaku' but hey, its my first car!

I love the fall. The fiery colours of the falling leaves everywhere lits up the entire city. I feel it gives a very soft dreamy feel everytime I stare out the window on the drive to work.

It just starts me daydreaming.



Its a pity the trees are almost empty now.

But that's the most lovely part of living thru seasons, the endless admiration of nature's beauty.

On Sunday night, we were invited to a real Belgian feast - Mussels, Fries and Beer.


Everyone keeps eating and drinking and eating and drinking... It was a free-flow mussels night.


And the mussels was really yummy. I can't have enough of it. I had 4 servings.

Burp... yes, am guilty!

I had one of the most lovely day ever.

I woke up early and was greeted by some very modern looking flowers.


Then I was seated at the dining for a nice breakfast with freshly squeezed orange juice.


At noon, I went to the Kaikan to be officially bestowed as a SGI Belgium member. It was so very significant!


And my YWD leader gave me a cookie with a candle - to sing and make a wish. So sweet.


Then, Mr D swept me off to a mysterious place. In fact, it was planned for a rest and relax afternoon at the Dilbeek Therma - a sauna complex with jacuzzi, turkish bath, heated pool, sauna, verry hot sauna and sun seats. I was booked in for a suprise massage to start with.

Then lazed around the complex thereafter. In and out of sauna, pool, drinks at fireplace, feet dippin, sun bathing. But the best part was the super hot sauna and then the quick dip into ice cold water. It is a must try. Feels really really good.

Weird part of the place is that everyone has to be naked but nothing to fancy to see there. Mostly old people though. LOL.

Nevertheless, it was an experience to be entire day in my birthday suit on the very day.

In the evening, I was swept away to Suprise No 2 - cosy dinner at an old restaurant serving to-die-for lobster dish. Man, that was really good! Its a restaurant Mr D has been to since he was 4 for every special occassion with family.

Then we cosy up the rest of the night in front of the telly with me in my pink pj.


Mmm, I am lucky girl he. Happy Birthday to me :)

Ps : Sorry for those whose calls I missed. And thank you so much for remembering.

Guess, what I got me for ma birthday?

A very cool nepresso machine - Krups and the entire collection of coffee variety.



So, please drop by for coffee ok ;)

Well, I was thinking last night.

The hypothetical question is that why we are able to smile to the world at any time but its just so difficult to do that at home with the ones that meant the most?

Mmm, I'll keep this in mind.

I have been in the dump. I mean I can't get out of this resonance. Its up and down, up and down but still within the lower states of life.

For a second, I can be feeling sky high, and next, everything is shaking up inside me :(

Couple of nice things happened though. Old friends from very important chapters of my life called me, wrote to me. To be in touch. To see if I am doing ok. It is indeed nice to know that I was thought about. Time to time.

Also, last evening, I went for our monthly discussion meet. We had a good discussion about relationships - how to deal with people, ideas to communicate better, how to break through our small minds and look past our own selves, with true compassion for another.

Alan was looking really down at the beginning of the meeting. I remembered that he mentioned of battling arthritis and depression in the last meeting. So after the meeting as I was going around to kiss everyone goodbye, I shook his hands and said to him, be strong and good luck. Didn't know what to really say.

But he said the nicest words to me. That everytime he sees me, I am like a sun which lits up everything and he wishes to find someone like me in his lifetime.

It made me pondered quite a bit. While sitting in the meeting the entire night, I was wondering to myself about the smile on my face that was put on the moment I stepped into the room. It was a smile so wide no one could see thru me.

I was just wondering about whether is that an act of Dishonesty? Defensiveness? Concealing Weaknesses?

And today, it was answered in words my dear friend penned for me from miles across the globe. But those words shone thru my computer screen into my heart.

And those are the words that do not need a voice to speak it out to me, yet it brings tears just to read and understand the hearts that reacheds out for one another.

Its still not over. But yes, I am glad to know I am on the right path.

"A smile is not an effect, but a cause for generating happiness"

November 18, 2006

- Soka Gakkai Founding Day
- Official day that Ms Teh will become a SGI-Belgium member
- Birthday of Ms Teh

How significant it is! :)

Well, the title speaks for itself. Its really gloomy weather here. And I am feeling the blues.

Was thinking hard what to write about my trip. Nothing. I guess, I am just not in the mood therefore, there is no inspiration to write.

Works been too busy anyway.

Felt like looking for some solitudes, left my office alone during lunch, only to find myself drench in the stupid rain pour. Duh. So here I am back, sitting in the midst of all people, walking up and down, busying with the impertinance of life.

The smile has been missing for quite a while now. I need to get myself back on track.

Still missing you H3lly.

I am back from the hectic trip. Two weeks and it does feel like a long time.

Anyway, most importantly, I am back, all recharged fully to take the world again :)

Not so true actually, cuz the cold weather is eating me up quickly. Its so fucking cold!!!

Though the winter weather gives a warm cosy feel in the evenings, lazing on the couch with a hot mug of MILO.

I'll write more shortly once I sort out my baggages - instant noodles, dirty laundry, new clothes ;) My camera is somewhere in the mess.

I hope all has been well when I was away.

H3lly will be missed terribly though.