my quaint world

Lately, many came to seek for my listening ear. I am being a good listener who listens without making judgements but also who listens with one's heart and ask questions that will lead the seekers to find one's answers. I try. I try.

Its common that we often start feeling rather unhappy about things, we put the blame on everything. Its the job. Its him. Its their attitude. Its her laziness. Its his stupidity. He didn't care. She was too selfish. They were taking for granted.

Little do we realise, are we really unhappy because of the less of another? Or put it another way, do we let ourselves be unhappy because of the weaknesses potrayed by another?

Or are we really unhappy because of our inability to change others to be what we envisioned or have expectation off?

Though, I know, it still pained our hearts.

But at many times, if we look at it cold heartedly, without much emotions, its all about choices. And many time, we let our emotions cloud our judgement of choices available for us. Choices are those that we can make to be in control of the situations.

But but but, how to really be in control of our situations?

I think one key to resolving issues which includes another person is dialogue. Talk! Talk with an open heart. Talk without boundaries. Talk without the what ifs. Talk without the expectation. Talk to seek the heart of another. Talk to understand the senses.

I read somewhere one on how to have effective dialogue. Instead of saying, 'if you do this, YOU make me feel...' but say, 'when you do this, I feel this way...'.

Its a different effect. One potrays more of a blame which will cause the other to be defensive. The latter will bring forth compassion from another.

We have to believe that deep in one another there is compassion. It may be laying dormant. It maybe be inactive. Its how we tap to it and to turn the situation around.

My friend sent me this site - Centre for Nonviolence Communication. This organisation was founded by a man who was lookin for answers to these questions, "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?". He believes in that human beings enjoys giving and receiving in a compassionate manner and thru the right way of communication we are able to optimise this and thus, making living more wonderful for ourselves and others.

Read it to find out more. Though I think one need to pay for the training courses :S

Otherwise, you can follow me through my course of self discovery here. Muahaha.