my quaint world

I have been in the dump. I mean I can't get out of this resonance. Its up and down, up and down but still within the lower states of life.

For a second, I can be feeling sky high, and next, everything is shaking up inside me :(

Couple of nice things happened though. Old friends from very important chapters of my life called me, wrote to me. To be in touch. To see if I am doing ok. It is indeed nice to know that I was thought about. Time to time.

Also, last evening, I went for our monthly discussion meet. We had a good discussion about relationships - how to deal with people, ideas to communicate better, how to break through our small minds and look past our own selves, with true compassion for another.

Alan was looking really down at the beginning of the meeting. I remembered that he mentioned of battling arthritis and depression in the last meeting. So after the meeting as I was going around to kiss everyone goodbye, I shook his hands and said to him, be strong and good luck. Didn't know what to really say.

But he said the nicest words to me. That everytime he sees me, I am like a sun which lits up everything and he wishes to find someone like me in his lifetime.

It made me pondered quite a bit. While sitting in the meeting the entire night, I was wondering to myself about the smile on my face that was put on the moment I stepped into the room. It was a smile so wide no one could see thru me.

I was just wondering about whether is that an act of Dishonesty? Defensiveness? Concealing Weaknesses?

And today, it was answered in words my dear friend penned for me from miles across the globe. But those words shone thru my computer screen into my heart.

And those are the words that do not need a voice to speak it out to me, yet it brings tears just to read and understand the hearts that reacheds out for one another.

Its still not over. But yes, I am glad to know I am on the right path.

"A smile is not an effect, but a cause for generating happiness"