my quaint world

Friday @ Monty or Bala?

Hehehe... very typical of Ms Teh.

Indecisivenesssss!!!

Ok, BALACLAVA @ 6PM. See ya!

Ah, today I went to lunch with my colleagues outside of the office.

Very quaint cafe - Le Beau Soleil. I like it.

The owner who owns the cafe, make the sandwich, bring the drinks and give you the bill is a violin maker. Really! Home-handmade violins.

Err, all violins are handmade ah?

Anyway, I find this little cafe very very interesting. Full of character. Very quaint. My kind of world.

Half of the cafe is a violin workshop. So you sit by the work bench with the tools and half-made violins. The place is decorated with yellow painted walls, huge picture of sun on the ceiling. And many many old pictures of people with violins completed the wall. And a very huge toasted panini with ham and goat cheese completed my lunch :)

Atmosphere is very homey. Feel like I've been invited by my violin maker fren to his home.

The violin maker himself looks quaint too - twinkle in his eyes, warm smile, curly brown locks and a pair of 'beatles' glasses. And my colleague told me he has one-of-the-kind of humor (they were speaking french, I am still deaf to it).

This will be my new hiddin corner. Whenever.

Sometimes my mood fluctuate so unpredictable, on a moment of a second. Just caught me by suprise. And I had then to remind myself, to calm down. To be on earth again.

Does it takes so much effort to retain sanity?

Or is it just the hormones playing?

Nevertheless, I try not to let anything get me down today for I'll be on my way to Sg tomorrow :)

Today, for the first time ever, I worked so late - 9pm. Over here, people knock off at about 5. Or some even earlier. People go home to their families and lives. In fact, since living, I felt the day has 2 parts - work day and home day. You know there's hell lots of things that can be done when one knock off at 5pm.

Anyway, why I worked late? I am proud to say that I was working on a proposal. And I think I did it pretty nicely.

This is job satisfaction eh.

By the way, I forgot to mention that I closed my first deal. Not exactly a new customer, but it was an upgrade. And for a good price.

Now, I start to believe I can one day be a real sales.

But I promise, I'll learn to lie without a blink in the eye ;)

Sometimes I do doubt my own conscience.

Do we really feel happy for others when good things happen to them? Or do we just LOOK happy for them?

Or do we dictate our actions based on what we think should be correct, which could be miles aways from what our real conscience is?

Can we really be honestly happy for others?

Called Mr D just. He was having such a good time. All fun. All men in their undies swimming under the moonlight, in the warm waters of Sentosa. Drunk.

I guess it was really really fun. I wish I was there. (I love yummy sights! LOL)

But for a moment, I can hear it in my own voice. The bitterness.

I was shocked with myself. Managed to bite my tongue before it splurts to say something unsightly. Like go to bed - its late - you are not there for fun - nag nag nag. (Only women do that meh?)

Then I ask myself. Am I for real?

And I remembered those crazy nights I had during my own trips - most recently, the International Party at Madrid. Before entering the club, we had to put on a tag with the country of Origin. I was from Cuba ;)

Well, sometimes I can't deny there is also all the other feelings - envy, jelousy, possesiveness admist of love.

Its needs a constant effort in mind to keep a balance. We gotta be fair. Everyone needs Love. Fun. Joy. Achievements. Life.

I guess, in time to come, I will find the equibilium point where it holds the balance. And to be really happy for someone, and not only after an hour or so of brainstorming.

Having the awareness of my own conscienceness is a good thing though. At least I could think, ponder and be wise before any rash reactions.

In all conscience, I really wanna be happy for others! Especially my dear Mr D.

Oh yea, today I went out by myself :)

Almost didnt make it but I was glad I did. In fact, I was so busy at work that I cancelled the appointment at 5pm. Well, by 7pm, the entire office was empty and dark. So I decided to leave.

As I walked to the carpark, I thought to myself, why don't I give Kathy a call to see if she's still available? So I did and she was.

So I fixed up my GPS and drove by the ear (listening to instructions - Turn LEFT 100m ahead. Turn NOW. Bla bla bla)

Ehe, arrived to my destination but I didnt know where I should park. So I did in total 4 u-turns before deciding to park on a bend. Err, I know but I didnt get a ticket :S

We did together 1 hour of chanting. Very enlightening!

Then we read together a passage from a book. We just picked it randomly.

It was about PUNCTUALITY. What-a-coincidence! :S (Feeling wee-bit guilty)

Ms Teh is also Miss Late. This entire week I have been late to work. I'll keep that message in mind and try my very best from now on (cross ma fingers)

On my way back, my GPS took me for a joyride. It felt like I went halfway around Belgium. Was zig-zaggin in dark alleys. Then voila, I was on the highway. But 8km. 12km. 9.6km. 5km. WTF!

I was in Brussels. Only 15km from my home.

Stupid GPS or stupid user? :S

(Ok, I am trying to remember to do my situps everyday now!)

@ Singapore

Black Pepper Crab, Joo Chiat
Chicken Rice, Chicken Place
Char Kuey Teow, Zion Market
Half Boiled Eggs, Kiliney
Nasi Goreng Special, Shah Alam
Sliced Fish Noodle, Amoy
Prawn Noodle, Newton
Dim Sum, Lei Garden
Hokkien Mee, Atria
Sushi Tei, Paragon
Popcorns, The Cathay

@ Klang

My Mom's cooking!
Seafood, Klang Seafood
Steamed Assam Fish, Kim Sua (Golden Mountain)
Fishball Noodle, Sri Intan
Oor Mee (Hokkien Mee), Bangkali
Bah Kut Teh, Taman Rashna
Dried Bah Kut Teh, Meru
Assam Laksa, Melawis
Mee Hoon Kuey, Berkeley
Steamed Fish in Ginger, whatever-the-name (near Pin Hwa)
Mee Siam, Aunty's
Coffee, Toast and Curry Noodle, Cheong Ho's
Indomee, Mamak Netbugs
Nasi Lemak, Eng Ann
Durian Durian Durian (Is it the season yet?)

Food at my hometown is damn damn good!!! Anyone going to Klang, can always call me for directions. Anytime.

There is also always an option to take a 45 mins boat ride to Pulau Ketam (Crab Island) - a whole fishing village built on stilts. Fully equipped village with schools, cinema, snooker, karaoke, shopping, motels etc. And seafood there is also fabulous! (Ehe, sounds like I am doing some adverts for Klang)


Any tips for makan in HK? I'll be there the week after. I only know Dim Sum, Dim Sum and Dim Sum in HK.

Where? Where? Where?

Damn, I am like a little kiddo can't wait till the morning of Christmas to open all my BIG pressies :)

I am coming home to hot hot hot Singapore!!! (Its getting fucking cold here... brr)

Well, some say Bala sucks. Some say here. Some say there.

Non of cyber frens (if MsTeh ever has any!) gave any comments. So I don know if anyone will turn out to suprise me? Pssst.... I love suprises!

Anyway, Mr S has exclusive party venue. So there we will be.

Monty's @ Boat Quay. Code name MsTeh to MsJune.

Then afterthat we go St-James-Power-Station. Dunno where is that la. Anyone know if thats a cool place? Otherwise, we will cabut and go Zouk la.

So if you are looking for me, these 3 places are the clues for the hot night.

Anyway, where there's drinks, there's where the party.

If you are lost, call me!

Yo guys, next friday, up to drinks at Bala? ;) See ya there at 5!

I was in Rome on Monday evening. As the taxi drove me to my hotel, we passed the magnificent Colleseum. It was a beautiful sight in the night. The lightings gave a very warm yet glorified, mysterious yet historical, calm yet nostalgic feeling.

And the next morning, I was in for a very pleasant suprise. The sky! It was so blue. Blue without a single cloud in sight. So blue that the trees with their leaves and barks stood out. All the building and ruins are like pictures with the perfect backdrop.

Then, it strikes me. The world is beautiful!

I have been swimming and drowning in negativity last weeks. How silly!

But its amazing how one's mind is twirled and shrinked as negativity enfolds us.

And also I realised, I am not afraid to be alone. It was just how the negativity took my mind away and squeezed it thru a dark gloomy passage and gave endless of reasons to be miserable.

Anyway, trip to Rome was good. Reminded me again the pleaure of being with one self. Reminded me of my solo holiday trip to Rome in 2004. Reminded me of being me.

Lost it somehow in the midst of the cold grey gloomy weather.

But I will find it back.

The twinkle. The shine. The smile.

I can't sleep so continue to bla.

I think my last entry showed a very vulnerrable side of me. But what the heck, at least I am honest.

Life ain't always bright and shiny he. Sometimes, there are dark and rainy days.

Whats most important is to know that nothing but ourselves, and no one but me is responsible for my own happiness.

Buddhism emphasizes that everyone must take responsibility for his or her own happiness. But often we resist changes within ourselves yet try our best to change others. Buddhism teaches that there is nothing we can say or do to change another person. People will change only when they are ready. The only people we have the power to change are ourselves.

By weaving this understanding into the fabric of our lives, we can begin to rectify any source of unhappiness at its most fundamental level. We will see that our inner transformation has the unfathomable power to help ourselves and others in ways that no other actions or words ever could. We will come to understand that we must take care of our own needs and feelings ourselves while being mindful not to use or abuse others in the process. It may take time and effort but, in the end, we will prove to ourselves that not strategy is as powerful as one based on self-mastery - qouted from Tarogold's article

This is what I did today. To reflect, realise and admit that it is my fear of being alone that is what causing me unhappiness and I will challenge it.

I believe, to know that is power because in every turn of our lives, especially in the difficult ones, it is in our hands to bring a changement to our own lives.

And this is what I continue to remind myself each day.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

That's the only 2 words I could think of that depicts 2 very different state of life.

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Heaven is when I brave my own way to Holland yesterday to make a presentation to a customer. All by myself to the 150km of highways and 3 very attentive and curious listeners.

On the way back though, the GPS acted up and kept ejecting the CD. First it lead me into a town centre (diverted from the highway) and then it didnt work. So you can imagine how difficult is it to get outt of the maze of an unknown town centre at peak hour. Also, I think I put in the CD for 1000 times :S At the end, a journey of 2 hours took me 3.5 hours instead.

But still, I managed! Survived the ride and most importantly the presentation! And man, am I proud of my own guts. First long-distance driving experience in Europe and first commercial presentation la...

<----------
Hell is the thing I can't explain why - being alone. Suddenly that thought itself freaks me out completely.

Past weeks has been filled with too much arguements and discussions with Mr D. I tried to figure out why is it so. Chanted. Read. Reflected. And finally I understood that it is of my own inability to be alone.

Somehow, it freaks me out. I know, I know, I should overcome it and I will but I guess, everything takes time. It just freaks me out to think that I would soon sit here alone day in day out on Friday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays (especially when all shops are close and I can't even shop to take my mind off). The nearest bar that I know from my place is for 30 mins drive. Restaurants? Err, 20 mins away. Cinema? Err, far. Familiar voices? Zero. Friends? Zero. Not even a dog that knows me. What would I do?

Do I live in a 'ulu' plaee? Err, yes, Vilvoorde... doesn't the name tells? :)

Besides, the weather is gloomy too. The days start getting shorter and shorter. It rains continously. Pitter patter pitter patter. And cold!

I am so tempted to just buy me ticket to go home. But money making ain't easy and I have to be wise.

Well, I had expected this phase before I choose to come here. And I know sometime soon, I will forget these feelings. But now is the most difficult part, thats to get over and done with it.

But I will survive this. I have always and I will.

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One strange thing is I can't help feeling sad that some just think that I am a lucky dude who seems to have it all and tries to stop me from getting more because they think it ain't fair. But how true is it about people judging others only on the facade. Knowing so little about a person, the inner sides and real values and yet judging so much. You know, I believe I could have done a lot.

Anyway, that's life. No one ain't got the hen which lays the golden egg everytime!

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Always stay correct. Always have a solid foundation. Alway have strong faith.

Winter never fails to turn into spring :)

There are plenty of voices in my head. Non-stop? Anyone has any ideas how to make these irritating voices stop talking?

Whats make it worst is that they are injecting negativities into my mind, constantly, 24 hours! Even while I am sleeping.

It makes me slightly paranoia. Slightly on the edge. Slightly in a bad mood. And without a smile :(

Well, I guess, its just part and parcle of phases in life.

Perhaps a trip home might do me good? ;) (No money la... sob sob sob)

Had a long chat with a good fren last night though. Couple of things he said, striked my mind. I guess, one thing for sure is, I need to take more initiatives in my own life here. I have been rather lazy and complacent, I guess. I need to put more concrete efforts in learning languages, in bridging and building bonds between people and not having a stereotyping mind. Be open, be happy, and spread it on!

Try the test! Its funny.

I failed miserably though. I know I know, I am asian but but but...

I can tell from the accents though :)

AllLookSame?

Just as I was feeling a wee bit low down, I had the most interesting flight ever.

Well, going out here is taking a slight toll on me due the barrier of the languages. For I am no longer the chirpy person who makes being silly, laughin the loudest laughter, makin funny faces and constantly trying to create entertainment yet forming bonds between human.

Here, I felt I am just an invisible soul. Lost in the languages, I let myself drift away under the sunshine, dreaming of land where there is only beauty and perfection.

Well, I felt a bit lost in the web of friendship, or so-called friends or friends because we hang out quite a bit or in my own correctness, friends that I can't connect. Front that I can't be the real Jaymy because of the barrier of communication. Language!

And I started to doubt myself. Well, have I grown inwards? Have I become passive? Have I turned into a boredom? Or am I just a smiling manequin? A chinese one, for say.

Just a painting of a face on the shell of an egg. (You know, we use to paint faces on egg shell, but does it represent what is in the egg?)

Nevertheless, just as the saying goes, winter never fail to turn into spring.

On my way to Lisbon today, 3 whole hours flight, where 2 hours was spent debating within myself to challenge myself to prove that I do not have a communication defiency. That I am normal. That I can talk to people. That I communicate. That I still connects.

Well, after 2 whole hours, and with a very interesting and curious musing girl beside me, I couldn't resist but to offer a piece of chocolate. That started a smile.

30 minutes later, I popped the usual 'standard' question, "Are you going for a holiday?" She answered. Then it was non-stop machine gun questionin, words, expressions, sharing, smiles, laughter and twinkles in the eyes. Yes, she has beautiful eyes. They talk silent words. She's a sorta theatre actress cum independent producer, passion for living, driven to bring smiles to people on the street, to strike them out of normadom. A person with a big 'YES' for life. A girl who is constantly writing her dossier, no matter where.

Then a book in the hands of another caught my eye. Titled "Buddha". Out of real curiousity, pathed the way through my doubts, my fears, my twisted tongue, I asked, "Why do you read this?". And again, it sparked off a connection that I can't explain. A bonding. A relation.

Beautiful person she is. Young, vibrant, happy with strong jest of life! And a looker. She was Miss Belgium 2005. In all the truest form, I think she represents very well the title. Apart from being almost a Julia Roberts with african/ india blood, its a full package she is. At least, that is one very good first impression I had.

And that's where I was. Inspired again. Ready to take the world. To spread the smile. To bring happiness wherever I am.

Also, I realised, that is the basis of me. That is the cause I proclaim. Happiness.

"Happiness is the joy in others!"

And no, no barrier there is for me. Only of a mind limitin the self. Be it for even with body language, I will speak out to the world.

Err, yes, we ate a horse steak on Friday night.

I had a colleague from Singapore who was in town. He asked to be brought to a real Belgium restaurant. Being a nice belgian, Mr D brought us all to a restaurant - Horse House Restaurant.

Apparently, this restaurant in Vilvoorde (small town where I live), specializes in lean, sweet horse steaks and has been popular for 4 decades. Have to queue to eat!

Its not the typical kind of horses - special breed called 'Belgium Draught Horse'. They are use in the fields normally. Very strong and hardworkers.

It was pretty good but err... I am not sure if I will eat it again.

Its all in the mind though.

As she drove herself with the unfamiliar vehicle all over at wrong sides of the roads, her heart was beating with pure anticipation. To meet with strangers whom yet she knows of those familiar warm hearts and glowing faces.

A drive so short, felt like miles away.

The joy felt on the rythm of the chanting, those voices which speaks words she do not yet understand are those same voices which she hears the unison of the hearts.

When I arrived, I was pretty nervous. Ain't sure where to park my big mama car. Managed to squeeze myself in a little corner, just enough not to block the garage of another. Took a peep thru my door just to see if I did give the car behind a bump. Lucky no. But a funny guy was laughing at my antics.

Then we found ourselves knocking on the same door.

I said, "Hello, am here for the meeting". He laughed even louder. In fact he was estatic. "Its our first meeting. You are standing here - our very first new member. How wonderful!"

And he didnt stop chuckling. Throughout the meeting. A buddha he is, bubbling, glowing, warm and happy. As everyone else there. Even little sweet Emily.

Well, indeed a great start to my journey for sake of kosenrufu in Europe.

Finally, this Saturday morning, I managed to get up earlier than usual, did the usual grocery shopping at the morning market and then rushed to the kaikan, near Midi Station in Brussels.

And there, it was the right Saturday because coincidentally they were having just the monthly Youth Meeting (every 2nd Sat of the month, 9am-12noon). I met the YWD Chief, Joelle and Vice Chief, Kazuko.

Also, got the contact for the district in Vilvoorde. My 1st discussion meeting will be this Wed. And its just 10 mins walk from my place :) Yay!

Also, also, the Vilvoorde district was just formed 2 weeks ago, consist of only 4 people. I will be the 5th... small he... but something always starts from nothing.

That's what I call the right timing!!!

I am excited! Also very much looking forward as one of my goals is to do kosenrufu in Europe!

Friday night, had a lovely dinner at 'Kuala Lumpur', a Malaysian restaurant in Antwerp with a group of Singaporean girls. We found each other thru the expat site. Sound desperate me? Hehe. But they are cool girls and in fact we had a great conversation going on that night.

Ms Monica - Freelance TV producer
Ms Jenna - Au pair for 4 terrors ;)
Ms Jai - new mommy n aspiring nurse

And grreeat food! So yummy especially the satay with peanut sauce :)

Well, well, this is what I have to do - building a new social circle. I made the decision to come living here, so I will not sulk around at home, complaining of boredom.

Happiness in oneself is everyone's own responsibility.

Ciao, enjoy ya sunny weekend!

I think living in Singapore for the past 10 years had turned me into quite a city girl. Or was I always one? :)

My little garden was in a mess, so I started picking out the weeds. With rubber gloves. *blush*

I can't help. In my imagination, there are bugs, worms, leeches, spiders all ready to jump on me!

But I only got stung by the "stingin nettle". And its a plant. *grin*

Anyway, here are my growing "xmas" trees (not sure what are they really called). I wanna grow some lavenders between them next summer.

Mmm, a new hobby?

4 Sept 2006 - Madonna's Confessions Tour.

I remember listening to her ever since, childhood, teens and till now, she till rocks. And she rocked Amsterdam Arena that Monday!

Woa, the lady was in command of her stage, turned the entire stadium into a discotheque-dance-club. It was a Powerful. Vibrant. Energetic. A gggrrreat show.

And she's still a hot hot hot babe at 48!

Whats in Amsterdam? Canals. Chinatown. Tulips. Prostitution. Drug.
Concert in Amsterdam? Bars. Drinks. Beers. Hotdogs. Ciggs.

No kiddin, one can drink and smoke! And bars are at every corners. Cool eh!

The evening started with DJ Tiesto spinning. People were migling, dancing, anticipating her arrival... And there she was, emerging from within a huge disco ball!

In fact, tickets for the standing area would be fantastic (which is more costly). Just feel like being at a super huge dance floor of a club! I got tickets with fixed seating cause I expected a chaos. 60,000 people maa!!!

But I was nicely suprised - No fuss, no rush, no pushing. Everyone was cool and happy. Dancing, drinking and smoking away. Hehe.

The lady was in good mood. She was smiley, chirpy and relax.

She said, "I've been smelling a lot of funny smoke around here *smiling* It's bad for my throat!"

Everyone screamed. 60,000

She chanted, "We are one, we are one, no more war, we want peace, no more blood, we want love, we want love, we want love, we are love...."

Everyone chanted. 60,000

She said, "Do you know that there are 34 wars going on in a world right now, and if I could stop only 1 I would do anything but I know that's not possible but I want to show them that it is possible to be all together, no matter what country you are from or what religion you are under the one roof like we are now in one big harmony!" And she asked everyone to hug the person next to us.

Everyone hugged. 60,000

She stucked her ass to the camera and then stucked her middle finger in between.

Everyone went wild. 60,000

Unforgettable!