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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Progress Report

Wassup wassup?

- I am still deaf to both French and Flemish.

Though my Flemish classes will start next week. And I am making trying efforts each night in self studying French without my table lamp, under the shadows :(

French to me is a singing language. Its a beautiful languauge with a lot of intonations.

- My house is cleaned and clean.

- Laundry is remaining as a constant pile.

- Went to gym once.

- Sleep, work, eat, beer. That's all I do.

Though I have a long list of things awaiting. Gotta start to write down my resolutions for 2007!

Perhaps this time I'll manage to get my ass to it. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

Though I would say living in Belgium gives myself more personal time compared to the days I was in Singapore. Here I found that I had more time to think, to self reflect, to connect with my innerself.

Because everything moves fucking damn slow here and I live in the tiny faraway silent town of Vilvoorde. Hehehe.

I like the winter nights at home, though my feet is constantly numb due to the cold and I have to wrap myself up with a big blanket looking like a begger. I think I am quite a sight when my neighbours look in on me from the windows.

Err, I am going for local Ghent play this Friday night. I think I'll just gulp the beers and start to halucinate that I am indeed watching a pantomine.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Something In Our Hearts

Lately, many came to seek for my listening ear. I am being a good listener who listens without making judgements but also who listens with one's heart and ask questions that will lead the seekers to find one's answers. I try. I try.

Its common that we often start feeling rather unhappy about things, we put the blame on everything. Its the job. Its him. Its their attitude. Its her laziness. Its his stupidity. He didn't care. She was too selfish. They were taking for granted.

Little do we realise, are we really unhappy because of the less of another? Or put it another way, do we let ourselves be unhappy because of the weaknesses potrayed by another?

Or are we really unhappy because of our inability to change others to be what we envisioned or have expectation off?

Though, I know, it still pained our hearts.

But at many times, if we look at it cold heartedly, without much emotions, its all about choices. And many time, we let our emotions cloud our judgement of choices available for us. Choices are those that we can make to be in control of the situations.

But but but, how to really be in control of our situations?

I think one key to resolving issues which includes another person is dialogue. Talk! Talk with an open heart. Talk without boundaries. Talk without the what ifs. Talk without the expectation. Talk to seek the heart of another. Talk to understand the senses.

I read somewhere one on how to have effective dialogue. Instead of saying, 'if you do this, YOU make me feel...' but say, 'when you do this, I feel this way...'.

Its a different effect. One potrays more of a blame which will cause the other to be defensive. The latter will bring forth compassion from another.

We have to believe that deep in one another there is compassion. It may be laying dormant. It maybe be inactive. Its how we tap to it and to turn the situation around.

My friend sent me this site - Centre for Nonviolence Communication. This organisation was founded by a man who was lookin for answers to these questions, "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?". He believes in that human beings enjoys giving and receiving in a compassionate manner and thru the right way of communication we are able to optimise this and thus, making living more wonderful for ourselves and others.

Read it to find out more. Though I think one need to pay for the training courses :S

Otherwise, you can follow me through my course of self discovery here. Muahaha.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Last Goodbye

Just listening to my sista's podcast, dedicated to dearest H3lly and it just bring tears to my eyes...

Last Goodbye To The One We Miss

Go listen! I have a eccentric sister. Delicate. Unique. Talented. Musical.

I wish I could have the last chance to speak, to laugh, to hold and to plant a kiss in your hair, H3lly.

My Golf

Oh yea, my new car arrived 2 weeks ago and he is a real beauty!


Manual gears :( but it has a sixth gear though. Never tried it out yet (I am a very slow driver)

And yes, it was a nice day - look at the little picturesque reflection!


Beige leather interior.


And a built-in bluetooth hands free kit. Very cool! Detects my phone automatically. When a call comes in, it stops the music and I listen to phone calls via the speakers of my car. Even display my name everytime it detects my phone.


Hehe, maybe I am being very 'suaku' but hey, its my first car!

Fall

I love the fall. The fiery colours of the falling leaves everywhere lits up the entire city. I feel it gives a very soft dreamy feel everytime I stare out the window on the drive to work.

It just starts me daydreaming.



Its a pity the trees are almost empty now.

But that's the most lovely part of living thru seasons, the endless admiration of nature's beauty.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Mosselen

On Sunday night, we were invited to a real Belgian feast - Mussels, Fries and Beer.


Everyone keeps eating and drinking and eating and drinking... It was a free-flow mussels night.


And the mussels was really yummy. I can't have enough of it. I had 4 servings.

Burp... yes, am guilty!

Monday, November 20, 2006

My Birthday

I had one of the most lovely day ever.

I woke up early and was greeted by some very modern looking flowers.


Then I was seated at the dining for a nice breakfast with freshly squeezed orange juice.


At noon, I went to the Kaikan to be officially bestowed as a SGI Belgium member. It was so very significant!


And my YWD leader gave me a cookie with a candle - to sing and make a wish. So sweet.


Then, Mr D swept me off to a mysterious place. In fact, it was planned for a rest and relax afternoon at the Dilbeek Therma - a sauna complex with jacuzzi, turkish bath, heated pool, sauna, verry hot sauna and sun seats. I was booked in for a suprise massage to start with.

Then lazed around the complex thereafter. In and out of sauna, pool, drinks at fireplace, feet dippin, sun bathing. But the best part was the super hot sauna and then the quick dip into ice cold water. It is a must try. Feels really really good.

Weird part of the place is that everyone has to be naked but nothing to fancy to see there. Mostly old people though. LOL.

Nevertheless, it was an experience to be entire day in my birthday suit on the very day.

In the evening, I was swept away to Suprise No 2 - cosy dinner at an old restaurant serving to-die-for lobster dish. Man, that was really good! Its a restaurant Mr D has been to since he was 4 for every special occassion with family.

Then we cosy up the rest of the night in front of the telly with me in my pink pj.


Mmm, I am lucky girl he. Happy Birthday to me :)

Ps : Sorry for those whose calls I missed. And thank you so much for remembering.

My Krups

Guess, what I got me for ma birthday?

A very cool nepresso machine - Krups and the entire collection of coffee variety.



So, please drop by for coffee ok ;)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

About the Smile

Well, I was thinking last night.

The hypothetical question is that why we are able to smile to the world at any time but its just so difficult to do that at home with the ones that meant the most?

Mmm, I'll keep this in mind.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Smile

I have been in the dump. I mean I can't get out of this resonance. Its up and down, up and down but still within the lower states of life.

For a second, I can be feeling sky high, and next, everything is shaking up inside me :(

Couple of nice things happened though. Old friends from very important chapters of my life called me, wrote to me. To be in touch. To see if I am doing ok. It is indeed nice to know that I was thought about. Time to time.

Also, last evening, I went for our monthly discussion meet. We had a good discussion about relationships - how to deal with people, ideas to communicate better, how to break through our small minds and look past our own selves, with true compassion for another.

Alan was looking really down at the beginning of the meeting. I remembered that he mentioned of battling arthritis and depression in the last meeting. So after the meeting as I was going around to kiss everyone goodbye, I shook his hands and said to him, be strong and good luck. Didn't know what to really say.

But he said the nicest words to me. That everytime he sees me, I am like a sun which lits up everything and he wishes to find someone like me in his lifetime.

It made me pondered quite a bit. While sitting in the meeting the entire night, I was wondering to myself about the smile on my face that was put on the moment I stepped into the room. It was a smile so wide no one could see thru me.

I was just wondering about whether is that an act of Dishonesty? Defensiveness? Concealing Weaknesses?

And today, it was answered in words my dear friend penned for me from miles across the globe. But those words shone thru my computer screen into my heart.

And those are the words that do not need a voice to speak it out to me, yet it brings tears just to read and understand the hearts that reacheds out for one another.

Its still not over. But yes, I am glad to know I am on the right path.

"A smile is not an effect, but a cause for generating happiness"

Monday, November 13, 2006

Soka Gakkai Belgium

November 18, 2006

- Soka Gakkai Founding Day
- Official day that Ms Teh will become a SGI-Belgium member
- Birthday of Ms Teh

How significant it is! :)

Don't let the rain get me down

Well, the title speaks for itself. Its really gloomy weather here. And I am feeling the blues.

Was thinking hard what to write about my trip. Nothing. I guess, I am just not in the mood therefore, there is no inspiration to write.

Works been too busy anyway.

Felt like looking for some solitudes, left my office alone during lunch, only to find myself drench in the stupid rain pour. Duh. So here I am back, sitting in the midst of all people, walking up and down, busying with the impertinance of life.

The smile has been missing for quite a while now. I need to get myself back on track.

Still missing you H3lly.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Back to Frituur-land

I am back from the hectic trip. Two weeks and it does feel like a long time.

Anyway, most importantly, I am back, all recharged fully to take the world again :)

Not so true actually, cuz the cold weather is eating me up quickly. Its so fucking cold!!!

Though the winter weather gives a warm cosy feel in the evenings, lazing on the couch with a hot mug of MILO.

I'll write more shortly once I sort out my baggages - instant noodles, dirty laundry, new clothes ;) My camera is somewhere in the mess.

I hope all has been well when I was away.

H3lly will be missed terribly though.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Indecisive

Friday @ Monty or Bala?

Hehehe... very typical of Ms Teh.

Indecisivenesssss!!!

Ok, BALACLAVA @ 6PM. See ya!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Violin Maker makes my lunch

Ah, today I went to lunch with my colleagues outside of the office.

Very quaint cafe - Le Beau Soleil. I like it.

The owner who owns the cafe, make the sandwich, bring the drinks and give you the bill is a violin maker. Really! Home-handmade violins.

Err, all violins are handmade ah?

Anyway, I find this little cafe very very interesting. Full of character. Very quaint. My kind of world.

Half of the cafe is a violin workshop. So you sit by the work bench with the tools and half-made violins. The place is decorated with yellow painted walls, huge picture of sun on the ceiling. And many many old pictures of people with violins completed the wall. And a very huge toasted panini with ham and goat cheese completed my lunch :)

Atmosphere is very homey. Feel like I've been invited by my violin maker fren to his home.

The violin maker himself looks quaint too - twinkle in his eyes, warm smile, curly brown locks and a pair of 'beatles' glasses. And my colleague told me he has one-of-the-kind of humor (they were speaking french, I am still deaf to it).

This will be my new hiddin corner. Whenever.

Moods Fluctuation

Sometimes my mood fluctuate so unpredictable, on a moment of a second. Just caught me by suprise. And I had then to remind myself, to calm down. To be on earth again.

Does it takes so much effort to retain sanity?

Or is it just the hormones playing?

Nevertheless, I try not to let anything get me down today for I'll be on my way to Sg tomorrow :)

Today, for the first time ever, I worked so late - 9pm. Over here, people knock off at about 5. Or some even earlier. People go home to their families and lives. In fact, since living, I felt the day has 2 parts - work day and home day. You know there's hell lots of things that can be done when one knock off at 5pm.

Anyway, why I worked late? I am proud to say that I was working on a proposal. And I think I did it pretty nicely.

This is job satisfaction eh.

By the way, I forgot to mention that I closed my first deal. Not exactly a new customer, but it was an upgrade. And for a good price.

Now, I start to believe I can one day be a real sales.

But I promise, I'll learn to lie without a blink in the eye ;)

Conscience

Sometimes I do doubt my own conscience.

Do we really feel happy for others when good things happen to them? Or do we just LOOK happy for them?

Or do we dictate our actions based on what we think should be correct, which could be miles aways from what our real conscience is?

Can we really be honestly happy for others?

Called Mr D just. He was having such a good time. All fun. All men in their undies swimming under the moonlight, in the warm waters of Sentosa. Drunk.

I guess it was really really fun. I wish I was there. (I love yummy sights! LOL)

But for a moment, I can hear it in my own voice. The bitterness.

I was shocked with myself. Managed to bite my tongue before it splurts to say something unsightly. Like go to bed - its late - you are not there for fun - nag nag nag. (Only women do that meh?)

Then I ask myself. Am I for real?

And I remembered those crazy nights I had during my own trips - most recently, the International Party at Madrid. Before entering the club, we had to put on a tag with the country of Origin. I was from Cuba ;)

Well, sometimes I can't deny there is also all the other feelings - envy, jelousy, possesiveness admist of love.

Its needs a constant effort in mind to keep a balance. We gotta be fair. Everyone needs Love. Fun. Joy. Achievements. Life.

I guess, in time to come, I will find the equibilium point where it holds the balance. And to be really happy for someone, and not only after an hour or so of brainstorming.

Having the awareness of my own conscienceness is a good thing though. At least I could think, ponder and be wise before any rash reactions.

In all conscience, I really wanna be happy for others! Especially my dear Mr D.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I went out by myself

Oh yea, today I went out by myself :)

Almost didnt make it but I was glad I did. In fact, I was so busy at work that I cancelled the appointment at 5pm. Well, by 7pm, the entire office was empty and dark. So I decided to leave.

As I walked to the carpark, I thought to myself, why don't I give Kathy a call to see if she's still available? So I did and she was.

So I fixed up my GPS and drove by the ear (listening to instructions - Turn LEFT 100m ahead. Turn NOW. Bla bla bla)

Ehe, arrived to my destination but I didnt know where I should park. So I did in total 4 u-turns before deciding to park on a bend. Err, I know but I didnt get a ticket :S

We did together 1 hour of chanting. Very enlightening!

Then we read together a passage from a book. We just picked it randomly.

It was about PUNCTUALITY. What-a-coincidence! :S (Feeling wee-bit guilty)

Ms Teh is also Miss Late. This entire week I have been late to work. I'll keep that message in mind and try my very best from now on (cross ma fingers)

On my way back, my GPS took me for a joyride. It felt like I went halfway around Belgium. Was zig-zaggin in dark alleys. Then voila, I was on the highway. But 8km. 12km. 9.6km. 5km. WTF!

I was in Brussels. Only 15km from my home.

Stupid GPS or stupid user? :S

Things I Wanna Eat

(Ok, I am trying to remember to do my situps everyday now!)

@ Singapore

Black Pepper Crab, Joo Chiat
Chicken Rice, Chicken Place
Char Kuey Teow, Zion Market
Half Boiled Eggs, Kiliney
Nasi Goreng Special, Shah Alam
Sliced Fish Noodle, Amoy
Prawn Noodle, Newton
Dim Sum, Lei Garden
Hokkien Mee, Atria
Sushi Tei, Paragon
Popcorns, The Cathay

@ Klang

My Mom's cooking!
Seafood, Klang Seafood
Steamed Assam Fish, Kim Sua (Golden Mountain)
Fishball Noodle, Sri Intan
Oor Mee (Hokkien Mee), Bangkali
Bah Kut Teh, Taman Rashna
Dried Bah Kut Teh, Meru
Assam Laksa, Melawis
Mee Hoon Kuey, Berkeley
Steamed Fish in Ginger, whatever-the-name (near Pin Hwa)
Mee Siam, Aunty's
Coffee, Toast and Curry Noodle, Cheong Ho's
Indomee, Mamak Netbugs
Nasi Lemak, Eng Ann
Durian Durian Durian (Is it the season yet?)

Food at my hometown is damn damn good!!! Anyone going to Klang, can always call me for directions. Anytime.

There is also always an option to take a 45 mins boat ride to Pulau Ketam (Crab Island) - a whole fishing village built on stilts. Fully equipped village with schools, cinema, snooker, karaoke, shopping, motels etc. And seafood there is also fabulous! (Ehe, sounds like I am doing some adverts for Klang)


Any tips for makan in HK? I'll be there the week after. I only know Dim Sum, Dim Sum and Dim Sum in HK.

Friday where?

Where? Where? Where?

Damn, I am like a little kiddo can't wait till the morning of Christmas to open all my BIG pressies :)

I am coming home to hot hot hot Singapore!!! (Its getting fucking cold here... brr)

Well, some say Bala sucks. Some say here. Some say there.

Non of cyber frens (if MsTeh ever has any!) gave any comments. So I don know if anyone will turn out to suprise me? Pssst.... I love suprises!

Anyway, Mr S has exclusive party venue. So there we will be.

Monty's @ Boat Quay. Code name MsTeh to MsJune.

Then afterthat we go St-James-Power-Station. Dunno where is that la. Anyone know if thats a cool place? Otherwise, we will cabut and go Zouk la.

So if you are looking for me, these 3 places are the clues for the hot night.

Anyway, where there's drinks, there's where the party.

If you are lost, call me!